Some Funny things: part 2

11. At a 14 year old slumber party I chaperoned, the girls didn't paint nails or gossip- they laughed hysterically at the fart machine and took turns pretending to shoot each other down then turned off the chick flick so they could put in iron man.

12. I have never been more thankful to not have carpet. On two different occasions we have covered our floor with massive amounts of water. Once when I dumped out a whole bucket of muddy water as I finished mopping. And a second time when chelsea filled a huge tin with water and didn't notice it was leaking until the water's surface tension on our counter broke and we heard it gushing on to the floor.

13. The 80s are alive and well in Uganda, apparently a new trend here- roller blades. Despite huge potholes, lack of side walks and horrible traffic, we have already seen 4-5 people rollerblading down various roads, each time wearing brightly colored parachute pants.

14. Sign posted at golf course entrance: Golf balls kill, enter at your own risk

15. Chelsea has a boda driver who is a Muslim and is named Jose, the cultural mix reminded me more of america then Uganda.

16. We had two very odd visitors stay with us for a few weeks. When they left they gave us a card. Inside, the first words were "beans and cabbage." We immediately burst into laughter wondering when (and why) they gave us those nicknames, but were quickly sobered when the card continued onto recipes for none other then beans and cabbage.

17. On the way to work we pass a hotel called "The Ghetto Guesthouse" which I think should be the name of a Kanye West song.

18. I kid you not, this is the first paragraph in a newspaper article I read:
"A young man who was allegedly bewitched for having an affair with a neighbor's wife sent residents in a panic when he
vomited three rats in a coughing spree."

19. People here call planners "diaries." I was running some errands with a very manly Ugandan man and we parted ways as I got onto a Matatu taxi. I was sitting near the window and thus was able to hear someone calling "my diiiiiaarrry!!!" as we began to drive away. I had forgotten I was carrying it in my purse and quickly passed it out the window... heaven forbid a man lose his diary.

20. Expatriates love to talk about their poo. Regardless of age, gender, location, or timing of the conversation, it is always appropriate to give a full detailed report on the state of your last bowel movement. If you can say you are regular (and have been for a while), you're bound to move up in social status and be the talk and envy of your social circle.


Nadia said...

That is awesome! I'm not sure if you are just really good at telling stories or if more funny things happen to you, but I love it! It's fun to hear your updates!

jans said...

Suz- I unfortunately really remember two of the things on that list- the expatriates talking about poo bit (no wonder I have an inability to talk about it to this day), and the 14 year old girls being obsessed with the fart machine (another word I cannot say out loud). At my 15th birthday party, all my friends wanted to do was play with my dad's fart machine. They thought it was the best thing EVER. My dad would also frequently use it when guest's came over at the dinner table.. a good segue for expats to talk about their bowel movements... :)

allie said...

19 and 17 are my favs. love you suz.

Hannah Jo said...

Hilarious. I love you.